Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
