you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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