You work out of a Hotel?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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