Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
