Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
