ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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