how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize