So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
