**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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