Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Your penis caused this!
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