Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
