Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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