I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
