Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize