how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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