i think my tv is drunk
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
