my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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