This girl is more easily done than said...
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
