wanna go halves on a baby?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
