Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
