Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
