I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
