We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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