I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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