I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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