please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
