good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize