I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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