dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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