I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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