you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
