How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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