plz talk dirty to me
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
