I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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