wat bout pragnant strippers??
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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