I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
