"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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