How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
