how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You can't just leave with hair like that
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
