well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
