you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i need some magic done to my vagina
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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