i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
