JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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