ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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