I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
