there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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