my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
