pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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