Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
