Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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