Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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