So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
