also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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