Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just gift wrapped bread.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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