Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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