the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
