I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
