So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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