just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
