Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
