i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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