***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
no, he came in my armpit
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
