Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
