i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
