Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
