I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize