yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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