you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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